Often Partisan

Hitting The Bar At Half-Time

I don’t know about you, the reader, but I’m tired of writing articles arguing the toss about financial mismanagement, players leaving and the end of the world at Blues. I thought for this article at least, I’d change the subject somewhat to the idea of half time entertainment.

As someone who takes a young nipper to the game, necking three pints of fizzy piss at half time isn’t really an option – so I’m generally left sat in my seat whilst watching this week’s benchwarmers go through the motions on the pitch, and trying to cheer up a six year old who’s miffed at Blues losing again. I’m tired of seeing “Steel Pulse” play a calypso version of Mr Blue Sky, and whilst soldiers marching up and down in their shiny uniforms might be nice for the female element of the crowd, it does nothing for me. So I had a think about it whilst I had the kettle on (as you do), and I came up with this:

Basically, the club sells tickets to a raffle before every game, £1 a time, or maybe 50p. Three tickets are drawn. Those three winners are then invited to come out onto the pitch at half time in the next game, to do a “crossbar challenge”. If you’ve seen Soccer AM, you know the score – hitting the crossbar from a defined distance. On Soccer AM, they do it from the halfway line, which I think might be a bit beyond the average Blues fan to do first time, so I’d set it up as one shot from the penalty spot, one from the 18 yard line, and then one from a defined point say 30 yards out. Hit the bar from the spot, you get a ball (like one they knock out cheap from the club shop), signed and presented by the man of the match after the game. If you can do that, you get a chance to do it from the 18 yard line – a successful attempt and it’s a signed shirt, again presented by the man of the match. If you can hit it from the 30 yard line first time (bearing in mind you’d have had to already hit it twice before), you get a cheque for say £250, presented by the man of the match after the game. You know, like one of those big ones they show on telly given to lottery winners. Couple of good pics, looks good in the programme next week. If you miss the first one, don’t fear – signed matchday programme presented by the man of the match. I’m sure that would appeal to people.

And then, you could have a kids competition. Same deal, but hitting the post from 6, 12 and 18 yards – put the ball in line so all they have to do is kick it straight. 6 yards it’s a ball signed by Beau Brummie; 12 yards and it’s a shirt, 18 yards and they get signed by the academy – well, maybe a “money can’t purchase” kind of win. You know what I mean.

Think about it. Money making opportunity for the club, bit of entertainment people taking the piss out of blokes who can’t kick a ball. Everyone’s a winner. Except those who can’t hit the bar, at least.


Tags: , ,

22 Responses to “Hitting The Bar At Half-Time”

  • chris clarke says:

    Great idea ,the way things are going if you’ve got your boots you could get a game second half kro
    p.s hello mick & holly

  • Scoobers says:

    Get Bruce Forsyth and he could do “Play Your Debts Right” …

    … ” Roger Johnson everyone … was he sold for higher or lower than £6m … “

  • Masaccio says:

    Lower Bruce

  • Buckingham Blue says:

    Will you pack it in? Some, if not most of us are perfectly happy to wallow in our half-time misery without unnecessary distraction. I’m with you on the removal of the steel band and the squaddies, but why replace them at all? Surely, the football experience at it’s purest should be about shivering silence broken only by the disturbing sound of a piss hitting cloth – we should rejoice in the splendour of burgerlagerbreath and announcements you can’t hear.

    Come on OP, think about it – do you really want to ruin 90 minutes of expensive, abject ineptness with innovation and entertainment? How out of context would that be?

    Do us all, and your child a favour and stay true to the experience. As a kid in the 70s my Dad used to take me to Blues at midday, spend 3 hours getting pissed in the D club (remember that anyone?) while I clung to the leg of the Commissionaire on the door, and then sleep ’til half-time. That’s a a proper childhood memory…

  • Glynn says:

    Quality…. I am in for a pound! have you e-mailed the commercial dept?? You could franchise the idea & sell it to the world. A bit like 20/20 cricket!

  • peter bowler says:

    Two thjings that the modern game is cursed by: entrance music and half time entertainment.

    We don’t need half time “entertainment”, we need half time to be cut back to 10 minutes, as it used to be. Most people can entertain themselves for 10 minutes.

  • AR says:

    I admire your imaginative thinking but I prefer your articles based on information you have gleaned about Carson & BHI from the HK papers. I realise it is depressing for you but it is the only source of what is going on at the club for us fans.We are not hearing anything about our financial situation from the club,so you are a Godsend. How has the club got itself into such a mess? We surely made some money out of the Carling Cup; we have received money (& no longer pay the wages) for Gardner,Johnson,Ferguson & our ex-manager; we have lost the wages of umpteen players like Phillips,Parnaby,Larsson,Jirinek,Martins,Hleb & Derbyshire as well as receiving a parachute payment.Why is there talk of selling even more players, & if we are in such desperate need of£1million for loaning out Foster, where has all the money gone? The present regime must have made a horrible mess of managing the club’s finances.

    • Connor says:

      He can’t blog on Carson and BIH when there is nothing being reported in the first place!

      I get fed up with the doom and gloom coming out of the club every day and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

      No news is good news!

    • almajir says:

      If there is nothing to report on – and there isn’t right now – I can’t report on it. Sorry

      • BD says:

        B.C.F.C. is in financial difficulties and some have commented about the deafening silence coming from the hall of power at St. Andrews. Why is this?

        Their leader is confined to barracks for money laundering, Mr. Pannu, whom many believe is doing a good job… Well I will leave the jury out on that for the time being, always seems to be anywhere but at his office (if he actually has one at St Ans). Last heard being in Hong Kong: Do they not have video link or telephones out there? Seems to be saying one thing to the papers, I.e. we will do everything to get £5 million from the Vile, then settles for… that depends on which media you pick up…another to the supporters
        I.e. we have no money. We are not heading towards administration.

        The reality is, my opinion only, no facts or figures, we are deep in trouble with a bare minimum of players, we have no backers/sponsors or investors. As the situation stands, we cannot sell the club because the owner, if that is what he is has had his assets frozen.
        If rumours are to be believed, he has used the St Ans. and Waste Hills land as collateral in Hong Kong that means they are frozen too.
        Another rumour is that he is only the figurehead and someone else actually owns the club and does not want to be known.

        All this is hearsay and speculation of course, and until the doors locked and everyone sent home, we will find out all.
        We slated the Gold’s, but right now, I would have them back with open arms, we were in a similar situation when they took over, but this is worse because even if someone came to buy the club they could not because of the Yeung situation.
        They left us with a legacy, a decent ground and money in the bank that took 10 years, Yeung has undone all of that in less than two

        This is a time for the supporters to stop slating off who/what or where and get behind the few players and Chris Hughton.

        The Whole truth and nothing but the truth is out there but we won’t ever know it.

        • Delboy says:

          Good idea, nice break from the doom and gloom, so why have I said this here, because I read the first line and couldn’t be arsed to read the rest.

  • Raters says:

    Good idea.

    But being blue noses peeps would bleat about having to pay for it.
    They’d want free entry to the competition, food, drink, ST for free and a holiday to Florida for a family of 28

  • Blueareya says:

    Good idea, something different at half time although I suspect your child may be a bit happier anyway this season. He may spend half time talking about the decent football he just watched and the fact we are two nil up instead of the dross served up by AMc. Although surely if you hit the bar three times you deserve a contract as opposed to £250!

  • robmac says:

    I remember in the old days they had a penalty shoot out, with kids from local schools going up against the local club reserve goalkeepers. The competition was run by “Match of the day” and the winners each week went forward to the next round with the winners taking penalties at the FA Cup Final before the game.

  • les says:

    good idea,they do this in america in the nba.if you score a basket from the half way line you get a prize and i think the prizes are pretty decent aswell.

  • Wingman Blue says:

    The club wouldn’t back it, once the fizzy piss merchants squealed. You need to find an income stream that adds to the club’s income, not competes with it…. comes of looking from the fans’ perspective, I suppose….

  • Dirty Bertie says:

    Appreciate there’ll be little to report till Aug 11th but, you have to speculate to…, no, no inappropriate.

    Please have a look at this link http://www.hklii.org/hk/legis/en/ord/201/s10.html, re burden of proof in Hong Kong and let us know if you’re still confidant that CY will get off.

    Also, do you think CY’s problems began after Stan Ho’s crowd tried to cut the middleman (Amax) out of the junket business?

    Th….. falling out?

    There are just too many connections and financial shenanigans going on to be complacent.

    Why did Sammy Yu leave?

  • Bluenose John says:

    I think most fans first concern is entertainment in the 90 mins being played. Hopefully there will be more this season and considerably less down the road….

Leave a Reply

Personalised Gifts for a Bluenose
Haircuts and League Cups
Open Tax Services
Corporate Solutions UK
PJ Planning
Rodal Heating